I got a call last night from a woman who was completely unraveling.
She’s been casually dating this guy, mostly texting, hanging out on occasion.
And he called her, but she couldn’t take the call. So then he texted: “Hey, can we talk soon? Maybe I can stop by tomorrow.”
And that’s what caused this poor soul to almost have a panic attack. She couldn’t take a full breath and her hands were shaking. The story she immediately told herself was:
He’s coming over to break up with me. Obviously.
Not a question. Not even a maybe.
No. Straight to emotional apocalypse.
To her, this was the most reasonable conclusion.
And I’m sitting there like… oh my god.
Because here’s what’s actually happening: nothing.
There is no information. There is only a sentence: “Can we talk?”
And her brain has already turned it into a full catastrophe.
So now she’s in this unbearable suspense. She can’t sleep, can’t focus, and is seriously considering rearranging her entire life just to get clarity faster.
Because the waiting is killing her.
Waiting, when your brain is writing horror scripts, is brutal.
So I told her something I used to hear all the time that felt kind of dismissive back then, but now I actually think is solid advice:
Do whatever the fuck you want.
If you can’t sleep, call him.
Ask directly.
Say, “Hey, I realized I told myself a whole story about this and I just want to check, what did you want to talk about?”
That’s one option.
But there’s another option. And this is the one that actually changes your life.
Right now, she has already decided the worst-case scenario is true.
So the question becomes: If you’re going to make something up anyway, why not make up something better?
What’s the best-case scenario?
And she couldn’t even go there. She was too stressed out.
So I offered one:
What if he’s realized he actually really likes you?
What if he wants to see you in person because he doesn’t want to say that over text?
What if this is him trying to move things forward?
Now, this might not be true.
But we don’t know.
And if you don’t know, your brain is going to tell a story anyway.
It’s not about what is actually true, when there is absolutely no way of knowing, but rather, what story makes me feel best, since it’s my own made up fantasy anyway?
Because if she tells herself, “He’s going to break up with me,” then she suffers for 24 hours… and then maybe suffers again when the conversation actually happens.
Double suffering. No extra information.
If she tells herself, “He’s really into me,” and she’s wrong? Then yes, it might suck when reality lands. But at least she didn’t torture herself in advance.
And if she’s right? She gets to feel good now and later.
Then there’s the third, most likely option:
Nothing dramatic is happening at all.
The man just… called her. Imagine that. A man using his phone for its original purpose.
The poor guy can’t even switch communication styles without it becoming a symbolic act loaded with existential meaning.
This is what our brains do. They hate uncertainty, so they fill in the gap, usually with the worst possible outcome.
So people ask me: “Isn’t the Epic Rewrite a little delusional?”
No.
Choosing how you experience reality while it’s unfolding doesn’t mean you’re trying to accurately predict the outcome.
You are not denying that something hard could happen.
You are refusing to suffer before it actually does.
You are giving yourself a way to breathe.
Because most people cannot “just stop thinking about it.”
That advice is useless.
So instead, you redirect the obsession. If your brain insists on thinking about it, fine. Give it a better story. One that is kinder to you. One that doesn’t wreck your day over something that hasn’t even happened. One that puts your attention where you want it.
Because attention is power. And it’s also the foundation of every magical practice you will ever learn.
So I asked her: “Do you want to suffer for the next 24 hours… or not?”
That’s it. That’s the whole decision.
Because until he walks through that door, nothing has actually happened.
Only the story has.
Courage, truth, and infinite love,
PS: As I was about to hit send, I got an update to the story: Homeboy wanted to tell her that he was overwhelmed after a trip to visit his family. IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HER, hahahahahaha. Except that maybe he wanted to share that with her, which is not a bad thing…
I don’t believe in magic, but I know that it works!
Magic is not a belief system, it’s a practice that works. Don’t believe me? Come try it out. If it doesn’t work, you lose nothing. But if it does… your dream life is about to begin!
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