The thing that shouldn’t happen (but always does)


Hey Reader,

Have you ever found yourself completely shocked and pissed off when someone does the exact opposite of what they are supposed to stand for?

Maybe it was the feminist leader who made blatantly sexist comments in a staff meeting. Or the director of a financial empowerment nonprofit who turned out to be stealing money. Or the spiritual guide who preached integrity and alignment, and turned out to be involved in some sleazy scandal.

It doesn’t just feel wrong—it feels personal.

You think, They, of all people, should know better.

I feel like that when I see this happen, but I’m never surprised.

Because I’ve learned something over the years—through my work, my spiritual practice, and life itself:

Whatever we are most devoted to, whatever we build our identity around—our mission, our values, our biggest strength—will always have a matching shadow.

Not sometimes. Always.

I see this pattern constantly.

The healer who is burned out and disconnected from their own body.
The activist fighting for community but struggling with deep loneliness.
The artist known for their creativity but paralyzed by self-doubt.

At first glance, it doesn’t make sense. Why would the thing someone is best at be the thing they secretly struggle with the most?

But when you understand how energy moves, it’s obvious.

It’s not about hypocrisy. It’s about paradox.

Light and shadow always come as a pair, and the brightest light always casts the darkest shadow.

Think about it:

  • The leader who champions radical self-love? Often, they secretly battle deep self-loathing.
  • The person known for extreme generosity? They might also have a hard time receiving.
  • The advocate for trust and transparency? Sometimes the one struggling the most with honesty.

And honestly? I see this in myself too.

People tell me all the time, “Maritza, you’re so confident, so clear, so magnetic.” And I laugh. Because I’m also one of the most anxious, fearful people I know.

That doesn’t confuse me. My confidence didn’t appear in spite of my fear—it was forged through it. The reason I can guide others through transformation isn’t that I’ve somehow transcended struggle—it’s because I’ve been deep in it, fought my way through, and learned the terrain like the back of my hand.

This isn’t something to judge. It’s something to understand, integrate, and work with.

Instead of being shocked when we see the shadow side of a person, an organization, or even ourselves… we can take it as a signpost. When we stop expecting ourselves (or others) to be free of contradictions, we can start using those contradictions as guides.

We can take a breath and say:

"Of course. This makes sense. Now, what do I do with it?"

That’s the real work of transformation. That’s Liberation Magic.

So, let’s make this personal:

What’s a strength you take pride in? And if you’re really honest with yourself… what’s the shadow that comes with it?

I’d love to hear your reflections. Hit reply and tell me.

Courage, truth, and infinite love,


I don’t believe in magic, but I know that it works!

Magic is not a belief system, it’s a practice that works. Don’t believe me? Come try it out. If it doesn’t work, you lose nothing. But if it does… your dream life is about to begin!


“El poder está en la acción.”

— Maritza Schafer

4083 24th St #460861, San Francisco, CA 94146
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Maritza Schafer

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