Joy + mess. Not either/or.


Hi Reader,

I genuinely believe that we’re each the curators of our own experience, even though I forget it all the time.

I don’t mean curator as in “only look at my apparent fabulousness on social media” sort of way. I mean the deeper way I get to choose where I put my energy, my attention, my focus, my love… I can decide what story I tell myself, who I hang out with, what I eat. Every little decision shapes my life, and curates my reality, if you will.

Reality is layered. There are thousands (millions!) of parallel universes unfolding on this earth at once. People falling in love. Children laughing. Forests burning. Courts ruling. People dying. Art being made. Meals being shared. Wars breaking out. Babies being born. Wars continuing. A thousand truths happening simultaneously.

And we have the power to choose which universes we inhabit in any given moment, at least, to the extent our circumstances allow. That choice changes everything.

Before I go any further, let me name the obvious: this is only true to a point. None of us has total control over our conditions. If you are living in a war-torn place, under authoritarian rule, facing systemic violence, or struggling for basic survival, you don’t get the luxury of curating in the same way. Reality bites and choices become limited.

And yet, even there, in the hardest conditions, people still find ways to choose. Women sing during their long walks to fetch clean water, children play in refugee camps, men share what little they have on the streets with each other. These choices don’t make anything better, they don’t hide the hardship, the pain, or the injustice.

But they do reflect a choice to hold onto humanity in the middle of the shitshow.

For those of us not in those conditions right now, the responsibility is doubled: we do have more freedom to curate. Which means we have both the gift and the obligation to choose more wisely.

Today, if I let myself fall into the political news cycle, I feel hopeless. The state of politics is incredibly depressing, and despair is the only sane response. But if I step into the studio with my dance community, I land on a different reality. I totally forget that I was despondent an hour ago. We move, we connect, we laugh our butts off, and joy is not only possible, it’s abundant.

When I focus on my work, I feel purposeful. I know I’m contributing something that matters. But if I overwork, I become one-dimensional. I lose the sparkle and magic of life.

Every time, the same lesson returns: where I place my body, my mind, my energy, and my heart will completely transform my experience of reality.

And yet, it’s not about pretending that only joy exists.

Wherever we put our focus, it becomes dangerously easy to believe this is the only thing happening. We forget other options.

Spend all your time doomscrolling, and despair feels like the whole truth. Spend all your time dancing, and joy feels like the whole truth. Spend all your time at work, and productivity becomes the whole truth.

But none of these are the whole truth.

When I remember that, I stop feeling trapped. Because I’m not trapped. I have agency. I can curate. I can choose joy and contribution and rest and activism and love in the balance that sustains me.

So here’s my invitation to you this week: take an honest look at where your attention is going. Does it reflect what you most treasure? Is it an embodiment of your values? Or has someone else (a boss, a politician, an algorithm, a habit) become the curator of your life?

If you do have the privilege of choice, use it. Not to turn away from the pain of the world, but to hold both the pain and the joy, both the struggle and the celebration. That’s how we stay alive, awake, and aligned with what matters most.

That’s the liberation I’m reaching for. That’s the liberation I wish for you.

Liberation Magic is where we do that together.

Courage, truth, and infinite love,

P.S. If you want to take this from thought to practice, that’s what Liberation Magic is for. Thirteen weeks of training your attention, anchoring in awareness, and learning how to hold both pain and joy without losing either. Because the ability to curate your experience isn’t a luxury. It's a skill you can grow.

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“El poder está en la acción.”

— Maritza Schafer

4083 24th St #460861, San Francisco, CA 94146
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Maritza Schafer

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