I went to a comedy show this weekend.
One of the comedians told a story about being a teenager, making out with a boy in the kind of messy, overly intense, slightly unhinged way that only 15-year-olds can manage. It was passionate, unforgettable, and involved far more saliva than anyone needed.
The next day, the boy didn’t want to talk to her.
She was heartbroken for a moment. Offended, even.
And then she landed on her conclusion:
He must be gay.
My friend and I looked at each other and immediately said the same thing:
This woman clearly did not grow up in a dysfunctional family.
Because when you are loved well, when you are supported, mirrored, and met in your childhood, you don’t immediately assume that something is wrong with you.
It simply doesn’t occur to you.
So if someone doesn’t like you, or doesn’t choose you, or doesn’t respond the way you expected…
the conclusion is not:
What did I do wrong?
It’s:
Huh. That’s about them.
Now, to be clear, her conclusion was objectively ridiculous.
But the underlying point?
That’s worth paying attention to.
Because most people I know have the opposite reflex.
Something doesn’t work out.
Someone pulls away.
A relationship fails.
An opportunity closes.
And almost instantly, the mind goes:
What’s wrong with me?
And that reflex is so fast, so practiced, so deeply embedded that most people don’t even notice they’re doing it.
They just live inside it. They build identities around it. They organize entire lives around quietly trying to compensate for a flaw they never actually examined.
And this is where things get interesting.
Because the issue is not that one perspective is “right” and the other is “wrong.”
The girl at the comedy show lacked self-awareness.
But most people lack self-trust.
One refuses to take responsibility for anything.
The other takes responsibility for everything.
Neither is accurate.
Neither is free.
What I’ve seen, over and over again, is that this distortion comes from a lack of integration.
Most people have done some version of the work.
They’ve been to therapy.
They’ve read the books.
They’ve tried the routines.
They’ve worked on their mindset.
They’ve taken care of their bodies (at least sometimes).
And all of that matters, but it’s not enough because your experience is not happening in just one place.
It’s not just in your mind.
It’s not just in your body.
It’s not just in your emotions.
And it’s definitely not separate from your spirit.
You are living at the intersection of all four.
And those four aspects of your self: mind, body, heart, and spirit, are constantly interacting with each other.
Influencing each other.
Distorting each other.
Supporting each other.
So what feels like a “mindset issue” might actually be heartbreak.
What feels like a “spiritual crisis” might be physical exhaustion.
What feels like “something is wrong with me” might simply be that you are reading one part of the system while ignoring the others.
Without a full map, everything starts to blur.
And when everything is blurry, the easiest explanation is almost always:
It must be me.
But that’s not helpful conditioning.
And it’s fixable.
Even if you didn’t grow up being taught that you are fundamentally okay…
Even if you didn’t learn how to hold yourself with both confidence and honesty…
Even if your default setting is to shrink, question, or over-correct…
This is something you can learn as a way of actually understanding how you work.
How your mind, your body, your heart, and your spirit move together.
How to read what’s actually happening in your life instead of responding from habit.
The goal is not to become someone who thinks: There is never anything wrong with me.
And it’s also not to remain someone who assumes: There is always something wrong with me.
The goal is to see clearly enough to know the difference.
To take responsibility where it’s yours, and to release it where it’s not.
To stand in your own experience with the right balance of humility and self-trust.
That’s what actually creates change.
That’s what actually creates freedom.
If you’ve done the work and you’re still finding yourself stuck in the same patterns…
If your first instinct is still to turn against yourself…
If you know there’s something deeper available but you can’t quite access it…
It’s probably not because you’re broken.
It’s because you’ve never been given the full system.
That’s the work I teach inside Liberation Magic.
A way to understand how you actually function, so you can stop guessing, and start changing things with precision.
If that’s something you’re ready for, we start in a week!
Courage, truth, and infinite love,
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I don’t believe in magic, but I know that it works!
Magic is not a belief system, it’s a practice that works. Don’t believe me? Come try it out. If it doesn’t work, you lose nothing. But if it does… your dream life is about to begin!
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